Things Destroying Your Motivation: Kick Them to the Curb
"When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let it go" - Carol Burnett
Feeling like you just can’t rise to the challenge to stay motivated? Feel like its to much of an uphill climb to your goal? To be able to complete our goals, we have to have the drive and motivation to help get things done. Motivation is that inner drive that pushes us to take action on our goals. One thing that I want to remind you of it that every expert was once a beginner. It is completely normal to have some off days where we don't feel as motivated. We all loose motivation sometimes. However, if we find ourselves feeling unmotivated for extended periods of time, this can have an effect not only on our mental health, but also on things that we really want to get done. There are two types of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic.
Intrinsic motivation is fueled by internal factors such as a desire to learn, sense of accomplishment upon completing a goal. Extrinsic motivation is fueled by factors outside of us like rewards, praise, or to avoid punishment. In order to get to where we want to be, there are going to be tasks that you have to complete right? There are steps to getting a college degree, losing weight, or feeling less stressed for example. While it is important to know what can help increase your motivation, it is also helpful to think about what may be holding you back.
Don’t let your fears take control, here are seven things that may be preventing you from finding that motivation to crush your goals:
1. You don’t believe in yourself. You may not be motivated to achieve your goals because deep down inside (or maybe not so deep down) you don’t think you can do it, or you don’t feel like you deserve it. When I was in the process of applying to grad school, I didn't feel that I was as smart as everyone else. I didn't feel like I would be a good therapist. Developing self-confidence is a key component to strengthening your motivation. I suggest practicing positive affirmations and repeating them to yourselves daily.
2. You’re overwhelmed. Perhaps you just have too much stuff going on right now, and you need to clear your plate. You might be procrastinating because you don’t want to face the stress of going down your large and overwhelming to-do list. Achieving goals can be overwhelming and scary. Remember to make time for self-care. Schedule in some activities that you enjoy and help you relax.
3. You bit off more than you can chew. While self-confidence is important, it’s also good to be realistic. If you’ve made a goal to save up a million dollars this year, but you make less than six figures, you’ll probably give up on your goal once you realize it’s impossible. Try setting goals with realistic expectations you can fulfill. I've definitely been here before. I tend to take on more than I should to the point where I become overwhelmed, burnout, and don't end up doing anything toward my goals. Remember that achieving your goals is not a race but a process. Break your goal down into smaller achievable goals. Focus on one thing at a time if possible rather than trying to achieve everything over night.
4. You’re afraid. Believe it or not, you could actually be procrastinating and avoiding your destiny because—get this—you’re afraid of the greatness within. You could also be afraid of the changes that will come about if you meet your goals. Confront your fears by writing them out, and perhaps process them with a friend or loved one, so your motivation won’t be detracted by fear of change.Change is scary and sometimes we don't feel worthy of greatness. Reminds me of starting my first my girl job out of grad school and being terrorized about being the person that people looked to for answers. Remember that people dont know what you dont know. If you present yourself as confident, people will believe that you're confident. With practice you will feel more comfortable with your new role.
5. You live in the past. You may be circling back unnecessarily to previous similar attempts to achieve your goal and getting locked into the story of how it didn’t work out so well that time. Wipe the slate clean and move on—if you live in the past you’ll never be able to move successfully toward the future. This is so important. You can't compare yourself to who you were in the past. This is something that I struggled with for a long time as I was trying to loose weight and get back into fitness. I found myself constantly comparing myself to the past version of me. I wanted to look like I looked in the past. All the meanwhile, I was not taking action and celebrating my present successes.
6. You’re not getting the support you need. Take a moment to reflect on the people around you. What are they saying about you and your goals? Are they being supportive and checking in to see how you’re doing, or are they disparaging your dreams and trashing your abilities? Consider spending less time with negative people that reduce your motivation, or at least not including them in the loop of this one subject. You want to surround yourself with positive and supportive people. Surround yourself with like minded people who are out to achieve goals like yourself. If you dont have a support system at home, create your own. Join a local community group, gym, or even social media group.
7. You don’t have a strategy. It’s hard enough to achieve your goal and bring a new entity into existence, but to do it without a plan is almost impossible. You may be lacking motivation because you’re not leveraging powerful tools like affirmations or a schedule. Organize yourself. Like mentioned earlier, writing your goals down, breaking them down into steps, keeping them realistic and achievable. Pump yourself up! Practice affirmations and be proud of every step you have accomplished up to this moment.
Motivation is that inner drive that pushes us to take action on our goals.
Getting what you want in life comes down to getting yourself to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. By figuring out what is destroying your motivation, you can plan ahead and come up with ways to kick these things to the curb to increase your chances of achieving your goals.
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