Limiting Beliefs that are Holding you Back
The only limits in your life, are the ones you create in your mind. - Unknown
Have you ever wondered if you were good enough for something? Or maybe stopped yourself from doing something for fear of judgement? I remember I felt this way a lot the past few months since starting my blog and podcast. Like who was I to be giving people tips and advice? Limiting beliefs can pop up everyday without us even acknowledging or understanding what is happening. I am guilty of this. In many ways this is something that I am still working on. Being able to be vulnerable without fear of being judged. There was also a brief period where I thought about applying for a supervisor position within my organization but stopped myself because I was scared of now knowing enough.
Limiting beliefs keep you from achieving your full potential because they don't allow you to see what you are truly capable of. Having these limiting beliefs don't allow for all the positive amazing things show up in our lives. We create barriers filled with self-doubt, questioning, and confusion. Think about the last time you did this. Your beliefs impact the way you see yourself in the world.
Limiting beliefs can show up in different areas of our lives such as relationships, self-worth, career/job, and health. Some examples of these are:
Self-Worth: "Im not attractive", "I don't like my body", "other people's needs are more important than mine", "people wont like me", "Im never going to be good enough", "people like me don't deserve____"
Relationships: "No one will ever love me", "I need someone to complete me", "my family doesn't understand me", "I have no choice", "all the good ones are taken".
Career/ Job: "Nobody is interested in my ideas", "They wont hire someone like me", "there's too much competition", "Im sure somebody thought of this before", "If I get my hopes up, ill be disappointed",
Health: "I always get sick", "I can't loose weight", "I don't have time to exercise", "this runs in my family", "I don't deserve to be healthy".
Where do Limiting Beliefs Come From?
As a child growing up, most of us did not go around questioning ourselves and our abilities to do something. We used our imagination to "fly", to play, and we're probably very spontaneous. Some of you probably also received encouragement from your parents or family to be or do anything you set your mind to. As we grow into adulthood, this all goes away and perhaps expectations begin to be placed on us. These expectations can affect the way we see relationships, health, success, self-worth, etc. Our family system largely influences the way we see ourselves and interact with the world. Not only that but also friends and other relationships.
Other areas where our limiting beliefs may come from is life experiences. For example, if you struggled in school growing up, you may find yourself comparing your abilities to others or doubting how smart you are. If you had a relationship where you were cheated on, you may start to believe that you can't trust your partner in relationships. If you experienced trauma, these situations can play in your mind over and over and affect the way you interact. The feelings associated with that situation can be on replay. I remember after my divorce, there was a period of time where I experienced limiting beliefs about my self-worth. I felt that maybe I was just not good enough.
Conquering Limiting Beliefs
Something that I have begun to practice is challenging the limiting beliefs when they come up. What if instead of telling ourselves that we are not good enough or capable enough, we began to believe the opposite? What if you just did it anyway? Whatever you believe you can't do. What is the worse that can happen? What is the best thing that can happen? We need to ask ourselves these questions to begin challenging these limiting beliefs. We usually try to find justifications for why something wont work or why can't do something but what if we found justifications for why we CAN? Perhaps the "worst" that can happen isn't as bad as we may think.
Secondly, imagine you are talking to your absolute best friend and they are sharing a story of limiting beliefs. What would you tell them to do? What advice would you give? You can say the same to yourself. People who experience self limiting beliefs tend to put others before themselves. You can also work on reversing this. Encourage yourself the same way you encourage others.
Its easy to stay stuck on these limiting beliefs and over time we may even believe them to be facts but they're not. The more you begin to challenge these beliefs, you will realize how untrue they really are. They are make believe and there are steps to overcoming them. "I only need validation from me. I can love myself even while I work on myself".
I have a free limiting mindset worksheet this week. Click on the resources link & scroll to the bottom.
Until next time,